Well, We all would have come across certain individuals who keep complaining about others for whatever negative happenings in their lives.
There is something got to be with these individuals who have developed a habit of holding others responsible(and accountable) for whatever bad happening in their lives. When do we take charge of our lives and accept the fact that we(and just we) are responsible for whatever happening in our lives ??
You would have noticed that these persons always finds a reason to blame others for their deeds,some wrong that the world has done to them that they want to share it with you in great detail.It could be financial investments,marriage,education,life,work stress etc etc..These people always crib and never take responsibility of their lives and during this process bad mouthing is a common thing. You may have great love and empathy for this person but unfortunately you become part of his blame process and have to listen to his bad mouthing of others. You may or may not influence and educate these persons,but for your own benefit,never blame others because he/she blames them. Take a stance which is appropriate by looking the problem at its face value. They may be your great friend,doesn’t mean he has to be right all the time.You would be degrading yourself if you too join your friend in blaming others because your friend does it. This will affect your personality in a big way as unknowingly you would have become the awful person than your friend. He would have been affected by others,but why do you have to part of it and do badmouthing without even knowing the full facts ! You don’t have to please your friend by badmouthing others because he do.If you are a sensible and really care for your friend,you would advice them(if you are convinced he/she is wrong) and not just support unconditionally.If you don’t do that along with the other person you are also giving up on the core values of life..
Irrespective of the severity of the problem for few blaming is just another habit.If these persons think it is difficult to overcome that or impossible to change this habit, Probably what is needed is a fresh perspective !!
It’s not impossible to resolve an issue,look for personal development aspect. Think IMAS Identify(problem),Measure,Action,Sustain(solution). Challenge the situation,take it as an oppurtunity to implement your interpersonal skills.Do every possible thing in your scope to address the issue. Ask yourself “What I can learn from this challenge,which I have brought into my life ? if you have a disagreement with someone,again ask yourself” what is that person trying to tell me that will enable me to grow”. Being open for new ideas open up avenues for better development. Claiming responsibility for your life helps you beam with confidence.A sense of satisfaction and pride houses in you.You may not be successful in all the instances,but you would still have the satisfaction that you have claimed responsiblity for the problems in your life rather than pointing finger at others like a coward. One who has courage to face life will never held others accountable for his distress. All of us live life,but what matters is how we live. Ask yourself if you want to live a life by always blaming others for your problems or accepting the challenges and work towards resolving it.
Nice thing here is, Once you claim ownership over the circumstances of your life you place yourself in a driver seat,a power to be able to do something about the problem.
If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams – Abigail Van Buren
People get disillusioned that not taking responsibility is less demanding,less painful and confortable..I say it is escapism. You are running away from your own circumstances which affect your self-esteem in a big way..You would not even realize the degree with which it grows and by the time you would try to take some corrective action, it would have gone beyond repair..This damages many vital parts in your life. Stuff like relationships, ambitions and achievements.
Try being responsible for your life and the difference is really remarkable. You feel so much better about yourself..
“Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment, and learn again to exercise his will – his personal responsibility.”